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Beginning, Tenth Row, GILT Split

by Beginning, Tenth Row, GILT

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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Sleepless nights Counting the number of cars I wish had hit me Never really asleep, never really awake The number of days my mind has forgotten Losing myself since I lost it all What would become of me? The curtains had fallen When would this go away? Reaching out for air, Grasping for life; We're in two different worlds now When would this go away? My thoughts have consumed what's left of me (I'm lost in the constellations I'm lost in the thick blood I'm lost in the rationalization I'm lost in the wish I could) When would this go away? We're in two different worlds now But I can't face the one I'm in
6.
I never had a chance to say goodbye Another day that passes; it still doesn't feel real You're on some kind of permanent vacation now In a place I can't see or feel I wish I could rewind all of the years we spent I'm still associating guilt with it all Now all that's left are the memories I have of us Engraved where you lived in my soul So I imagine every now and then, I'll pick up a pen And write some words to make sense of this, while in my head Playing the words you wrote and sang over and over again I won't forget your voice until I hear it again Two years later, I'm still stuck in your hospital room Becoming a prisoner of my own mind Like quicksand beneath my feet Every second that passes feels like I'm running out of time I can't defeat this demon in my head I've read, talked, and written to you to set me free But nothing seems to work Nothing seems to work You're still not here with me So I imagine every now and then, I'll pick up a pen And write some words to make sense of this, while in my head Playing the words you wrote and sang over and over again I won't forget your voice until I hear it again I'm lost in this morbid sea With no dock in sight Which way do I go? The only way is down It's not enough to remember your voice It's not enough to sing your songs I'll let the waves crash over me And soon enough, I'll surely drown A fresh wound replaces your voice A deep scar replaces the wound A dull ache replaces the scar Until it's simply a part of you
7.
Plastic flowers in a clean glass vase Dress shoes that got scuffed and blood-stained Just an hour or so out of your day Falling asleep to the sound of the train Not a story quite yet Just some idle talk between friends The sort of thing you’ll forget when you’re older Or put too much faith in “Let’s have the wedding in March” Faded pencil on the back of a postcard Things you didn’t need to find People you don’t know, giving a half-smile “Let’s have the wedding in March” “Let’s have the wedding in March” Simple cursive with the date in print Things they were taught that became irrelevant Something still not yours Something still not yours, in your hands Someone still not yours Someone still not yours, in your hands
8.
Circle back around If it’s not welcome, it’s allowed And I could get it all fixed If you were who you were back then But wash it clean too many times, and it’s worn thin I’ll keep it all under control But I’m not proud of you anymore A list of phrases that all work differently one way They lost their value (Oh, you were supposed to say it too) Keep safe the ring that fit better on your thumb I’m fine being another one
9.
Too stubborn to hold your breath Trying to save all the room inside your chest Too stubborn to hold your breath I tried to tell you when you were on the way out But it always felt like the wrong time How could I say, “I love you” and not sound Like I was trying to apologize? You’re still the only part of myself I like There was no precedent or manners But you could still have not said it better When you were finally released from all bondage Hand still in mine And I, for my part, I’ve tried to do a lot To be the person you saw before I could be And all the things that came up And came in between Cause you’re gone but you’re still not dead to me Cause death’s familiar but it’s still not family
10.
Nail marks in your palm that you can’t see yet Cut back but they always do the trick I’m swimming through lakes (Skin depressed and then raised) Introductions remade, and remade again I’m puzzle pieces from different sets forced to fit Not what it looks like / Not what it is It’s a funhouse maze (introductions remade) It’s a mirrored place "Oh, it’s nothing" You love how it works But never ask how it’s made A place you can’t find on a map A name you can’t even say Something to take to make it easy (Something to take to make it end) And in the morning, hope I don’t turn back into myself again The way I think of you will never change The way I think of you will never change The way you’ll never understand The thing I could never explain

about

A year and a half in the making, the development of these four songs, and our correspondence with Beginning and Tenth Row, traveled with us across America, into other countries. It traveled through extreme changes in us as artists and individuals. These songs grew into our identity, shaped by loss, and now serve as the birth marker of a firm, distinct, and purposeful version of ourselves as GILT.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us on this journey.
Lisa, we miss you, always.
- Tyler, December 2019

credits

released December 28, 2019

• B E G I N N I N G •
1. Nous Détruire
2. Sunken
3. Non-Zero
4. Below The Surface

Produced by Jake Girolami and Beginning.
Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Jake Girolami.

Beginning is:
Justus Meek - vocals
Maddie Meek - bass, vocals
Josh Selby - guitar, vocals
Bennett Norris - guitar
Jake Girolami - drums

• T E N T H R O W •
5. Grieve (In Two Different Worlds)
6. Drown (Until It’s Simply a Part of You)

Produced and engineered by Ian Joshua Riley.
Recorded at Toast & Jam Studio in Buford, Georgia.
Mixed by Andrew Simmons.
Mastered by Troy Glessner at Spectre Studios in Seattle, Washington.

Tenth Row is:
Jessica Michael - vocals
Zak Washburn - guitar
Jonathan Washburn - drums
Ian Joshua Riley - bass, vocals

• G I L T •
7. Something Still Not Yours
8. The Ring That Fit Better On Your Thumb
9. Visitation
10. The Way I Think Of You Will Never Change

Produced by Jake Girolami and GILT.
Recorded at The Two Story House in Saint Augustine, Florida.
Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Jake Girolami.
Additional drum production by Jeremy “Jester” Langham.

GILT is:
Tyler Fieldhouse - vocals, guitar
Nico Bacigalupo - bass, vocals
Tilley Komorny - guitar, vocals
Ash Locke - drums

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GILT Jacksonville, Florida

GILT is Therapy.

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