1. |
Ignore What's Missing
03:21
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The holes that came with your clothes
Paying to self-diagnose
I want to fix things in good repair
Ignore what’s missing, focus on what’s not there
Let yourself be weak
Prayers half-pronounced, falling asleep
Let it scab. Regrow some skin you never had
You’re numb and calloused, but you can feel it pressing
Left you there a couple days
Watched you pass the time but never change
I grew on you like vines on stone
I fall at your feet, it’s seasonal
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2. |
Flowers
02:35
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You paint flowers on the parts of yourself you don’t like
I spent some time pulling thorns out of my side
And don’t you ever get sick
Of being right about it?
You burn the candle to the quick
Broke the glass and tried to melt that
Like it’d grow back if you didn’t
A lot’s changed but you peel back the new growth
Crush the scraps underfoot until it’s comfortable
How can you haunt yourself if you’re never home?
Written lists on your skin
You still don’t know where to go
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3. |
Charity
02:57
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You’re not pulling my teeth out
When my fingers will do just fine
Talk about speaking in tongues
No there’s no more cavity for lies
And I’ve got an answer for it all
A life of call and response
Well every echo’s not a choir
But I’m safe till someone catches on
You can be honest
And you can still be wrong
There’s too many hands trying to feed
Words that no one ever wants to eat
Reach out but never touch
A new name for the same crutch
There’s too many hands that trying to feed
A voice that loves to hear itself speak
A gift that’s a hook with a lead
No favor given to any but me
There’s no empty pockets if you’ve got none
No answers if you’ve got no questions
There’s nothing here to be shared
Just lent out broken, and you pay for repairs
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4. |
Shelf
01:04
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He was raised, yeah
But more like put up to it
Give him patience
But no way to stop moving
One hand broken
One hand held
So there’s nothing free
To fix yourself
If the sky’s the lid
Then what's the shelf?
You want to break the glass
It can’t be helped
You get it honest
You can’t put your finger on it
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5. |
Numbers
02:45
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Know my name
Know my face
Know my weaknesses
Partial to you
I am sum of the pieces
The whole of the moon
Couldn’t pull back the seas
I’ll float on my fears
I will drown all my beliefs
You know me best
Blind hands to flesh, you pull my insides out
Make me from ribs
The perfect place to tie a string around
I remember it
You casting gold over my skin
Tell me the last thing you feel
Before you fall asleep again
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6. |
Children Of Animals
02:55
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Never quite first or last
Remarkably inoffensive, upset but safe
The story of the middle class
With bandages on your thumbs to ease the pain
Of turning the page again
But it’s still the same book, and you know how it ends
Something got lost
When your parents gave up and bought this house
Something got lost in the youth that was passed down to you
It was tainted and watered down
You were an easy kid to raise
And of that you’re clinically self-aware
But now you’re white-knuckle pissed off
With soft skin and helmet hair
Something got lost
It was the innocence to fight back
Something got lost
It was a danger you could wrap your head around
Something got lost
Maybe they didn’t see it in you, like in themselves
Something got lost
Maybe they hid it like a present, on the highest shelf
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7. |
Blue Ink Pen
04:14
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Mirror me, mirror me
Press on the glass
Mouth me the words
And I’ll relay them back
Lean in close
So I know
Practice appearance
But grade on intent
Circle back on itself
To explain what it meant
There’s a verse in the margin
Still wet from your blue ink pen
They're just stains on the paper
Pressed down so gently
Like firstborns in the river
Hands soft and patient
Like feathers in the quiver
Try to append yourself
But there is nothing you have left to say
Never have to be alone
As long as you are in your own way
I’m gonna trace over each letter you wrote
Ship it off to your empty postal code
So it’ll return to sender, one day
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8. |
Sink And Tithe
03:08
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The monthly quota / another kid in a cage
Skimming off the top
It’s a bleeding wound / it’s severance pay
Keep your head above water
In a sea of limbs lifted in praise
You sink and tithe (drowned and revived)
It’s a repeat offense
It’s an open and shut case
And are you on the take yourself?
Getting by, not getting help?
Fingers tied to palm the bribe
Holes in your hands not water-tight
The office sent it’s condolences
Church family sent a tax-deductible gift
But corporate had to let him go
Caught him stealing their trash to feed his kids
You said, “I saw your post
And I want you to know you’re in my prayers and thoughts
I’d like to be there myself
But you know how it is asking for paid time off
Just don’t get too political
Don’t get too political or you’ll scare them away
Oh God, that’s what happened to Rage”
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9. |
You're The Sun
02:45
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There was no screaming crowd
No human chain
No police tape
No barricade
When you were taking a little more than you should
There are no politics
That transients could tag walls with
That could outweigh the benefits of the moment
It’s never an emergency until it is
You’re the Sun, you’ve got nothing to gain
I’m sorry it turned out that way
All the beautiful things you illuminate
While dying patiently
And you were never more true to anything
Than counting all the lights as they turned on for evening
And loving their indifference,
Uncompromised and innocent
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10. |
||||
Open but not exposed
Something hollow’s living in my clothes
What color is the light when it’s turned off?
What’s lying behind your teeth when you talk?
You’re not breaking in
I left the window open
Take my body, I don’t need her
I never lived here either
It’s the same thing again, just that time has passed
It’s the same thing again, just that time has passed
You look at yourself, and it looks back
It’s the same thing again, just that time has passed
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11. |
Car Seat
03:31
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If there’s slack in the safety belt don’t take it off
Lean forward until you’re torn between held and caught
Sat still for 20 days, things burrow under me and disintegrate
Don’t know if they go away, or just spread apart
Trying to take up all the space
You make my blood run cold
You’re gonna make it snow this summer
But you can’t shake me
I’m already shaking
You could never be what they wanted
When they told you to, "Just be yourself"
Don’t take this advice, keep living for the afterlife
Couldn’t think of a better place to die
This car seat decomposes just as well
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12. |
||||
There’s a point where looking for answers
Becomes more of a habit and less of a comfort
I checked all the locks in my house and then it flooded
I know they say possessions can be replaced
But then why are photographs so effective?
Are memories made collecting or collected?
Not to complain but sometimes it gets depressing
How almost your entire skillset is investments your parents made
Almost 20 years before they knew who you’d want to be
I know it’s petty but I’d love to be reimbursed
For all the extra years you’ll get to spend with her
Cause I didn’t have the tools or words at the time
To articulate a complex situation
I didn’t want you as a mirror
Because I only saw myself from my own perspective
Where I could frame any affection as penance
If I could do it all again, I’d probably just make different mistakes
In new and almost impressive ways
So I try not to dwell on who I was at the start
It’s still growth if it’s growing apart
I scavenged most of my discernable traits
Off the corpse of someone who looked a lot like me
And I don’t think I’m as ashamed of that as I should be
Cause I never paid much attention to how it all panned out for him
He’s gone now, and I’ve got to live with it
You were kept like literature
Like a catalog or scripture
To be picked up and quoted and put back down
Or like a diary left out
Not learned from, just learned about
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