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In Windows, Through Mirrors

by GILT

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1.
The holes that came with your clothes Paying to self-diagnose I want to fix things in good repair Ignore what’s missing, focus on what’s not there Let yourself be weak Prayers half-pronounced, falling asleep Let it scab. Regrow some skin you never had You’re numb and calloused, but you can feel it pressing Left you there a couple days Watched you pass the time but never change I grew on you like vines on stone I fall at your feet, it’s seasonal
2.
Saw you walking in circles almost three years in a row You said, “My legs are gonna be real strong once I figure out where to go And yours won’t. No, yours won’t.” I did a lot of thinking about new ways to think Without changing a thing And I found an answer when I was by myself You were the only one that I couldn’t tell Some things can be carefully disassembled Not everything has to fall apart It was a long time coming, but only from the start
3.
You know, there’s a point where looking for answers Becomes more of a habit and less of a comfort I checked all the locks in my house and then it flooded I know they say that possessions can be replaced But why are photographs so effective? Are memories made collecting or collected? Not to complain but sometimes it gets depressing How almost your entire skillset is investments your parents made Almost 20 years before they knew who you’d want to be I know it’s petty but I’d love to be reimbursed For all those extra years you get to spend with her Cause I didn’t have the tools or words at the time To articulate a complex situation I didn’t want you as a mirror Because I only saw myself from my own perspective Where I could frame any affection as penance If I could do it all again, I’d probably just make different mistakes In new and almost impressive ways So I don't dwell too much on who I was at the start It’s still growth if it’s growing apart I scavenged most of my discernible traits Off the corpse of someone who looked a lot like me And I don’t think I’m as ashamed of that as I should be Cause I never paid too much attention to how it all panned out for him He’s gone now, and I’ve got to live with it You were kept like literature Like a catalog or scripture To be picked up, and quoted, and put back down Like a diary left out Not learned from, just learned about

credits

released November 11, 2021

Vocals: Ash Stixx
Drums (except "Long Time Coming"): Ash Stixx
Guitar: Tyler Fieldhouse
Guitar: Tilley Komorny
Drums in "Long Time Coming": Ali Reed
Bass in "In Windows" and "Through Mirrors": Nico Bacigalupo
Bass in "Long Time Coming": Tyler Fieldhouse
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GILT are: Ash Stixx (they/she/he), Tyler Fieldhouse (they/them), Tilley Komorny (she/her)

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Vocal Tracking, Producing, Mixing: Hansel Romero
Instrumental Tracking: Lee Dyess at Earthsound Studios
Mastering: Matt Goings
Artwork Portrait: Annie Shu
Additional Visual Branding: Maja Liv Groves
Artwork Design: Tyler Fieldhouse
Logo: Crimebird

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Artist Management: Maja Liv Groves (Queers to the Front)
US Press: Natalie Schaffer (Big Picture Media)
UK Press: Sarah Maynard (Major Press)
US Tape Release: Knifepunch Records
UK Tape Release + Merchandising: Hunkofplastic Records

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GILT Jacksonville, Florida

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